Am I being abused?
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone. Understanding and recognising the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step to getting help and to ending it.
No one should live in fear of the person they love and you don’t have to deal with this on your own.
The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you are constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up, the chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive.
Physical assault or battering is a crime, whether it occurs inside or outside of the family. The police have the power and authority to protect you from physical attack.
Some things to ask yourself
- Is your partner is trying to isolate you and to keep you from seeing family or friends or even prevent you from going to work or school in order to increase your dependence on him/her?
- Is your partner humiliating you and making you feel bad about yourself? Insults, name-calling, shaming and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem.
- Abusers use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Do they threaten to hurt or kill you, your children other family members or even pets?
- They may use a variety of intimidation tactics. Do they make threatening looks or gestures, do they smash things in front of you, destroying property, hurt your pets, or put weapons on display?
- Abusive individuals need to feel in control. Do they tell you what to do and expect you to obey without question? Do they treat you like a child, servant and as one of his/ her possessions?
- The most obvious signs of domestic violence are physical violence such as punching, slapping, hitting, pulling hair, burning, kicking and pinching.
- Abusers may minimise or deny that the violence occurred by saying the abuse didn’t happen. Does your partner put the blame on you and shift the responsibility onto you by saying you caused the abusive behaviour?
Who can it effect
Domestic abuse does not discriminate. It can happen to anyone including:
- heterosexual couples and in same sex partnerships.
- while women are more commonly victimised, men are also abused
- all age ranges
- all ethnic backgrounds
- all economic levels.
How are Housing Services involved?
If you are experiencing domestic abuse, our Housing Services team can help with finding you somewhere safe. We work alongside ‘Refuge’ as well as other authorities throughout the country and can work to find you somewhere to be safe.
We can advise on tenancy issues – including occupational orders, joint tenancies and homelessness – and can put you in touch with other organisations (some of which are listed below) that provide support and legal advice.
White Ribbon Accreditation programme ensures organisations take a strategic approach to ending male violence against women by engaging with men and boys, changing cultures and raising awareness. East Cambridgeshire District Council achieved White Ribbon status in 2018, and continues to support and engage with the charities message and strives to end violence against partners.
- Domestic abuse is very common. One woman in three experiences domestic abuse at some point in her life
- Domestic abuse is a crime – it is unacceptable
- Domestic abuse is very dangerous
- You have the right to live without fear of abuse
- The abuser is solely responsible for his abusive behaviour.
- It is not your fault
- Do not feel ashamed, guilty or embarrassed to talk to someone who can help
- It is not too late to break the abuse wheel
- You deserve better
Who to contact for further advice
999 - Emergency Services
If you are concerned for your own or some else’s immediate safety
ring the Police on 999
24-Hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0800 2000 247
If you are experiencing domestic abuse, you will need an assessment by a housing adviser. You will be offered a refuge placement in order to remove you from danger and allow you to organise future housing and benefits etc.
0808 2000 247
National Domestic Violence Helpline This 24-Hour Helpline service provides support, information and a listening ear to women and children experiencing domestic violence. It will also refer male callers who require help to appropriate support groups.
0845 30 900
Charity that helps young people if they have been victims of abuse or violence.
0300 123 7123
Monday to Friday, 9am to 8pm, Saturday and Sunday, 11am to 4pm
Helpline providing information, advice & guidance for young people 12-18yrs on sexuality and sexual advice
Free confidential 24-hour helpline for children and young people in the UK.
0808 801 0327
If you are a man or you want to call on behalf of a man who is experiencing domestic violence.
0207 008 0151
Help for those who have been forced into marriage overseas; are at risk of being forced into marriage; or people worried about friends or relatives.
Offers a range of specialist services for women and girls who have been raped or experienced another form of sexual violence – whether as adults, teenagers or children.
We want to listen, we want to help
Telephone: 01353 665555
Emergency out of hours: 07710978900